single serving: picnic on third breakfast sandwich....gonna have to nitpick

My breakfast sandwich parade continues as I branch out as many blocks as I can safely get to then get to work on time. This time out I'm hitting the 3rd Street corridor, which has become a hotbed of tech start-up offices. The sorta one positive is that with the flood of workers also comes some new food spots to help feed them. One such place is Picnic On Third. They are part of that fast casual concept where you order at the counter then they bring you your food. And the food is of the local, organic, etc, and what not variety. I came across their website and noticed a breakfast sandwich listed that looked and made many promises so I figured I'd check it out. 

They actually call this the Breakfast Sammich and it goes for $5.50. Their first downgrade is this did not look like the photo on their website. Also, here's their description of it:

A simple, beloved classic. Eggs, cheese, & thick slabs of bacon, all on a warm english muffin, slathered in saucy-sauce. All fresh, real ingredients. None of that fake egg or limp bacon crap.

My first and over riding issue with this was the bacon was neither as plentiful as their picture nor was it crisp. In fact it was quite the opposite--soggy and lifeless. 

I took this back to the counter and asked if I could get one with crisp bacon on it and the girl said "they are all pre-made and so they are the same. And because they are wrapped, when they get heated it can cause the bacon to be a little soft." Yeah this was more than a little soft. And her comment pretty much means NO, you can't get crispy bacon. But it also raised other questions: if these are pre-made why did it take nearly 20 minutes to get one after I ordered it? And why are these not made to order? And why say the bacon is crispy on your website then tell people you can't get that? And so on, and so on. I think my reply to her was, huh, really, when I just wanted to through it at her screaming "bacon blasphemy" ,"gimme back my money" and "there is no truth in your advertising", but I did not. 

Since I wasn't getting a new fresh made one, I peeled that nasty bacon crap off and tried it on its own. They put some kind of "special sauce" on there and while I could tell it was there from the orangish color on the English muffin, it had zero taste to it and just made the bun soggy. Description said this should have had cheese on it too, but that was nowhere to be found. I will say the egg part wasn't bad, kind of fluffy. I pulled it off and ate the rest of it, leaving the bacon and the muffin for the compost heap. The two folks in front of me in line ordered this same "sammich" but without bacon. I probably should have taken that as a clue, but since I can't resist the pork, I got it anyway. Oh well, not like there will be a next time for this, ever.  

I felt like I needed to assuage my palette with something that was at least sweet, meaning I wanted to kill the memory and taste of the above and got a brownie from them because it was there. 

It was a flourless brownie that will set you back $3.50. It was kind of light and airy and mostly fine. For me it did lack a little of that dense heft I like in a fudge-y brownie. Not sure I need to go back for this but as a cleanser for a crappy "sammich", it did the job. 

I think we all know where I fall on this one, it isn't something you need to get up early for, the sandwich or the brownie. There are plenty of places to go and get a breakfast sandwich that I don't think this is one you need to try. I'd say just skip the whole thing entirely. There's a McD's a block down 3rd, I hear the McMuffins there are made to order all day and not bad. They couldn't be any worse.