JUNK FOOD JUNKIE: LITTLE DEBBIE STYLE AND YOUR WEEKLY DIGESTION OF FOOD NEWS TO CONSUME

What can I say, if it's red velvet I'm gonna give it a try no matter how tacky it may be. Such was the case when I came across these cakes from Little Debbie at at Target recently. Though I'm sure I'd have come across them in a Walmart too. That's the thing about Little Debbie, at $1.99 a box their products cross all lines throughout the country and they make a host of product. They also do themed stuff depending on the time of the year it is, thus it was a surprise to see these in spring as opposed to around the holidays. No matter, I grabbed a box for the sake of discovery, because that's the kind of person I am. As far as color goes, that got that down pat. It wasn't too bright red, but just the right darkish red to convey the color of velvet drapes. It's covered in a "white frosting glaze" thing that really is just powdered sugar and probably milk in some form. Sweeeeetttt would be the word for this. The cream on the inside reminded me of the stuff they use to fill their Oatmeal Creme Pies, something I grew up with and kind of like but not exactly the stuff of red velvet cakes. The cake itself is moist and has the right texture though as for flavor, there may have been notes of chocolate or I may have been delusionary from all the sugar, hard to tell. I couldn't help thinking it tasted a little like their Swiss Rolls just not as chocolaty. It's like they added red food coloring to the rolls, made them square and viola--Red Velvet Creme Cakes! As a junk food nosh, they'd do in a pinch, as a red velvet substitute, not so much. I will say the SO liked them more than me, at least I'm going with that as they seemed to disappear not soon after I brought them home. Oh well, while not a total loss, actually, not a loss at all, I mean they were only $1.99. They won't fill my red velvet need but as a kitschy party fave for a 50's themed get together I'd say they are spot on. And after your second martini, it won't really matter anyway. 

• Roostertail in Pac Heights is closing as of Sunday to be reborn as Gardenias from the same folks who previously brought you the now shuttered Woodward Gardens. Ow...head spinning.
• 'wichcraft--that Tom Colicchio place at Westfield that I never seem to see anybody eating at finally closed after 5 years! Surprised it lasted that long. It too will be reborn as something from those dudes who run Perbacco. 
• Not wanting to let Berkeley have all the fun SF will now put warnings on sugary drinks. Ugh, whatever happened to personal responsibility?
• Split Bread has now "split" and opened a second location on Mission near 2nd Street. This one's serving breakfast in their fast casual we don't take cash space. They will also do their own version of "$4 toast".
• Tablehopper offers up the first look at B. On The Go, the takeaway sandwich spot from Belinda Leong. Opens Friday. 
• 50 Bay Area sweet treats to eat because 7x7 really likes their lists. 
• Here's an inside look at the new Lord Stanley on Russian Hill. Seems someone is really into IKEA--just saying.  
• Chef Hubert Keller may have shut Fleur de Lys but he's still in the game with this upcoming Bastille Day pop-up. Nothing like celebrating the fall of the monarchy with an expensive dinner most folks can't afford--too much?
• Absinthe had a small fire---fortunately no alcohol was harmed.
• Stone Bowl has opened in Lower Haight and SFWeekly seems to like it, prices not withstanding. 
• East Bay Express serves up 5 restaurants worth trying since students are now out of school and it is safe to return to Berkeley.